Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Shit Creek Corporation Annual Report

One hundred and forty-one authors(I think--please count and check) have had or are about to have work in Shit Creek Review+II and The Chimaera:

A.E. Stallings, Aaron V. Poochigian, Adam Elgar, Alan Sullivan, Alan Wickes, Alison Brackenbury, Amanda Laughtland, Amy Nawrocki, Andrew Frisardi, Angela France, Anna Evans, Antoine Cassar, Antonia Clarke, Arlene Ang, Arthur Durkee, Bee Smith, Brent Fisk, Brian Dion, C. D. Russell, C.B. Anderson, C.E. Chaffin, Cami Park, Catherine Chandler, Charles Musser, Chris Mooney-Singh, Chris O’Carroll, Christopher Hanson, Cindy Nelson-Nold, Claudia Gary, Corey Cook, Corey Mesler, D.C. Andersson, Daniel Haar, Danielle Lapidoth, Dave McClure, David Anthony, David Landrum, David Rosenthal, David Thornbrugh, Debjani Chatterjee, Dennis Greene, Don Kimball, Donald Zirilli, Duncan Gillies MacLaurin, Earl Haig, Elizabeth Barrie, Emily Brink, Eve Anthony Hanninen, Fintan O'Higgins, Frank Osen, Gail White, Gary Charles Wilkens, George Good, Guy Kettlehack, Harvey Goldner, Henry Quince, Howie Good, JBMulligan, James AL Midgley, James Keane, Jan Iwaszkiewicz, Janet Kenny, Janice D. Soderling, Jee Leong Koh, Jeffrey Calhoun, Jehanne Dubrow, Jennifer Reeser, Jerry G. Erwin, John Milbury-Steen, John Whitworth, Jon Ballard, Joseph S. Salemi, Jude Godwin, Judy Kaber, Juleigh Howard-Hobson, Julie Carter, K.R. Copeland, Karen Bryant, Kate Bernadette Benedict, Kei Miller, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Kirby Wright, Kirk Nesset, L. Ward Abel, Lafayette Wattles, Larry Fontenot, Lee Harlin Bahan, Lee Passarella, Leo Yankevich, Louie Crew, M.A. Griffiths, Margaret Menamin, Mark Allinson, Mark Blaeuer, Mary Alexandra Agner, Mary Ann Mayer, Mary Meriam, Maryann Corbett, Michael Cantor, Michele Lesko, Mike Alexander, Neil Carpathios, Nic Sebastian, Nicolette Bethel, Nigel Holt, Nigel McLoughlin, Patricia Sims, Patricia Wallace Jones, Patrick Carrington, Peter H Desmond, Peter Richards, Peter Schwartz, Peter Wyton, Quincy Lehr, Rachel Bunting, Ralph C. La Rosa, Rhina Espaillat, Richard Epstein, Rick Mullin, Rik Roots, Rob A. Mackenzie, Robert Bolick, Robert Clawson, Rose Kelleher, Salli Shepherd, Sam Byfield, Samuel Prince, Simon Hunt, Stephen Payne, Stephen Scaer, Susan McLean, Thomas Rodes, Tiel Aisha Ansari, Tim Murphy, Tom Sheehan, Tony Williams, Wendy Sloan, Wendy Videlock, William Doreski, William McGonagall III.

SCR+II and The Chimaera have been read at least 10,969 times. The SCR Blog has been read 9282 times.

Corruption to the tune of countless millions of $$$ has been exploited and harvested by the sleazy editorial team in bribes, kickbacks, poems-for-cash, cross-promotion, round-the-world trips, sexual favours and serial attacks on the Shit Creek Office Petty Cash tin and whisky supply.

Individual editors have had mixed fortunes: one has gone missing in the desert, one is under heavy sedation, one has gone to Oregon, one is studying for a higher degree, and one has fractured her sternum while performing acrobatics tricks (including a Grand Jeté with Triple Somersault and Pike) on high scaffolding.

The Board expects that these achievements will be easily equalled and surpassed in Poetic Year 2008, with contributors and readers being drawn from an even wider geographical, linguistic and socio-economic base, and corruption revenues enhanced by a rigorous pruning of contributing poets' rights and amenities.

Concerns expressed by nervous observers to the effect that there are far too many online poetry magazines aimed at servicing a particular online poetry community have been airily dismissed by Chairman of the Board Paul Stevens in his Annual Address to Shit Creek Paddlers, who remarked: "Let them bake cake!" He pointed out that members of that particular community will find it harder and harder to win publication in magazines in the SCR stable due to the ongoing widening of the SCR contributor recruitment base. He noted that current operations in the British Isles particularly are achieving spectacular success in raising the bribe/publication ratio and yield, and went on to predict that the going rate for inclusion in SCR publications, whether expressed in $US, gold ounces, or degrees of required kinship proximity, will soon price online poetry community members out of the market.

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