Friday, October 17, 2008

Important Instructions -- Follow EXACTLY!

1.) Ensure that your computer box and screen are aligned exactly correctly taking ALL factors into account (use a standard carpenter's square, GPS, sextant and I Ching to determine the One True Angle)

2.) Check, re-check, and re-check again that step 1.) has been performed correctly and that all calculations are accurate

3.) Vacuum the keyboard, then thoroughly clean it and the screen, mouse and mouse-pad several times with antibacterial wipes (usually 72 passes on each is sufficient to ensure adequate bacterial and psychic sanitation but when in doubt repeat the sequence as many times as it takes)

4.) You may now click on the link to the Obsessive/Compulsive Shit Creek Review

5.) Make sure you read it in EXACTLY correct sequence

6.) IMPORTANT: If interrupted at any point, including the reading process, do not just subsequently resume reading -- BEGIN THE WHOLE OPERATION AGAIN from Step 1.)!

Ewww! Look at that canoe, crawling with microbes! And those paddles! Where are the wipes?

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