Literally Exploding and Totally Decimated

A story titled 'Whatever...blah, blah, blah' in my local paper has set me off ranting on the same theme. So here's a few of the expressions from my own Most Hated list:

Decimated: On this morning's telly some chap from a Wildlife park was going on about how Tasmanian Devils, victims of some mysterious face cancer, are being "totally decimated". "Over 50% of the Tasmanian Davil population has been decimated," he went on to say. Decimation, of course, means the destruction of one in ten of whatever you're talking about. The Romans started the fad by executing every tenth man of a disloyal military unit. If the Tassie Devil population has been totally decimated, there must still be 90% of it left. If 50% of it has been decimated, there must be 95% of the total left.

Alternate: as a noun for 'Alternative', as in 'Alternate realities'. I blame the Americans, and especially Bill Gates, for this. 'Alternate' means every second occurence of something, as in 'We flogged the gardener on alternate days'—that is, on every second day. 'Alternative realities' would refer to two or more possible realities; 'alternate realities' would be two realities that occur and recur in turns.

Alternately describes the sequenced way
That day gives way to night which leads to day:
Used otherwise, it tends somewhat to grate.
Is there alternative to alternate?
My first reaction is to answer, Yes—
But then, alternately, I must confess
Each second of the series argues, No:
Between two options, which word's apropos?
Alternatively is the word to use
When, freed from sequence, we may pick and choose.

Literally: just ask Jamie Oliver!

It's literally the bloody pits!
I literally have got the shits -
and if you literally say
that bloody word again today
I'll literally start throwing fits:
I'll go right into literal mode,
to literally* hit the roof -
then, if you need some further proof,
I'll literally explode!**

* a split infinitive: yet another bloody irritating usage!

** Domus Carataci.